#congratulations lettuce

[asclepias0819]

spinach and artichoke dip 🥰🥰🥰

[onecentwriter]

dialogue prompts that give off ~chaotic vibes~

!!please credit me if you use any!!

"you idiot. now we're gonna die."

"american cheese. shitty yet addicting. kind of like my exes."

"everything would be a lot easier if you fucking sat still."

"careful. those aren't designed for idiots."

"tssk, tssk. what would jeff goldblum think of this?"

"if you're trying to manipulate me, it's not working."

"i'm about to say 'shut up' and if you respond with a ridiculously flirtatious 'make me' i will slap you."

"i congratulate you. to convince them is no small feat." *pause* "though you do have small feet."

"don't worry. it's not lethal. i think."

"hey, did you fall from heaven when you hurt--fuck."

"no, but i can speak greek. είσαι σκατά." [you are shit.]

"can i? of course. will i? nah bro."

"we're gonna die and your tombstone will be engraved with 'death by dumbassery.'"

"i had a cat once. his name was stewart. i trained him in the fine art of jiu jitsu."

"what do you mean most people don't carry multiple knifes on them at once?? what if there's an attack?? or an urgent need to cut lettuce??"

"i swear to god if you post this on twitter i will steal your kidney."

"ok. fine. maybe i am a dumbass. but you gotta admit i'm a hot dumbass."

"ah, canada." (that's it. that's the prompt)

"is. is that a grenade."

"abso-fucking-lutely not."

"you know, this reminds me of the time i met the president."

"sometimes, your stupid astounds me."

"yeahhhh no. we're not doing that."

"is there actually anything in your skull or is it just dust and dumbass?"

"gordon ramsay is such a mood."

"this would be romantic if you weren't you and i wasn't me."

"most people just send a text, you know."

"goddammit. how many fucking beans did you spill."

"the world could be ending and you'd still find time to livetweet the imminent destruction of reality."

"you look like shit."

"i can kill a man with my bare hands but i can't unscrew this goddamn jar--"

extra challenges:

use all 31 in one work.

write one prompt every day for a month.

use a random number generator and write 500 (or any set number of) words, and only that amount of words.

to add some spice to #3, set a timer!

if you like these prompts, check out my prompt blog!!

[keen-li]

"IT JUST SLIPPED"

Today you had to shoot a cooking talk show like video for your YouTube channel. You were so excited and happy cause you had two special guests. Bangchan and felix.

You had a hard time sleeping cause you were so nervous today. And as you walk through the studio towards the set up kitchen you get even more nervous.

"Have they arrived?" You ask your assistant as she walks beside you.

"Yes they just got in" as she says that the nervousness sinks in more.

Its the first time you and any straykids members are filming something together, you have many reasons to be nervous but the main reason is you're afraid you might slip up. Slip up? Yeah you're afraid you might accidentally call chan 'baby' like you always do when you're with him. But most of the time when you're with him it's not infront of large lights and cameras.

Nobody knows that you two have been dating, not your companies, not your crew, not even you're assistant, it's still kinda new so you wanna keep it low. The only people who know you and chan are dating are his members. Who said they found out when they all "accidentally" saw you and chan's chats. The defenders were han and Lee know, when you saw those two open there mouths to defend you knew it was bullshit. Who accidentally reads three months worth of conversations in front of others accidentally.

You were kinda mad and embarrassed that they read your messages cause you and chan had some spicy texts and pictures in there. But chan promised to talk to them and keep his phone better which made you feel better.

And it seemed like chan's talk did work on them, cause they never brought up any of the messages or made any silly joke about it. They only congratulated you and made you feel comfortable.

You see the familiar figure of your boyfriend and his bandmate walk in straight to you. You and chan give eachother smiles hoping no one noticed cause you and him need to keep this a secret.

When they approach you, felix first, you share greetings and give eachother hugs. When chan hugs you he tries to not make it obvious by placing his hand a little lower on your back.

"I missed you" he whispers into your ear and you feel the heat consume you.

"Shut up were supposed to be undercover" you joke.

"But I missed you too" you confess still in a whisper.

You two missed each other like you didn't text and facetime everyday when you can.

He walks by you as he greets the crew.

After sometime and getting things ready it's time to film.

Since its your youtube channel and show you have to be the one to introduce them.

"So today we're gonna do a little cook and chat" you begin to say to the camera.

"But before we do I wanna introduce you to two people" you give a look to chan and felix as they take it as a sign to get into frame. They give their biggest smiles to the camera as they bow to it and to you which you return as well.

They give their intros and you smile at them as they express how they're happy to be here and how much they've always wanted to be on your show. It makes you blush but it's not like you didn't know. One of the reasons this filming idea came up was because chan expressed to you how much you he wanted to be on your show. And after both of your companies accepted, the date was set.

You and the boys laugh as you answer some funny questions and chop up some food. One of the questions led to chan having to tell an embarrassing story which makes everyone in the studio laugh. You also end up telling a story and chan can't help but watch as you smile and giggle when you tell the story.

He always loved hearing you talk and express yourself, it's one of his favourite things about you. Feeling his loving gaze on you, you glance at him and warn him making him look away and focus on washing the lettuce.

You're cutting some cucumber when it slips from the grip of the knife and cuts you a bit.

You hiss catching everyone's attention. Chan looks at you worried as he watched you rush to the sink. It kills him how he can't just run over to you and care for your wound just because people might find out.

"I'm good guys" you say but it doesn't help lighten chan's heart.

Felix notices his uneasiness and taps him on the back. "She's okay bro relax" he doesn't pay much attention to that as he watches a staff wrap your finger with a bandaid.

After you get back you grab a new knife and new cucumber as chan stares at you still uneasy.

"I'm okay chan" you smile at him and he feels a little more relieved when you say it directly to him, maybe it's your smile that comforts him. But he still wishes he had been the one to help you.

You continue to shoot the video as chan takes over the cutting duty and puts you in egg boiling duty. Which you rolled your eyes at. He's so protective, as if you couldn't burn yourself with hot water.

After you're done with the shooting, chan approaches you.

"Let me see your hand" he grabs your hand not even letting you choose whether or not he can see your hand. But you let him cause he's just trying to be caring.

"Are you okay?" It's a question he keeps asking you and you don't know if you wanna answer him again.

"I'm fine chan, now let go of my hand before someone sees us." He doesn't take heed to your words and continues to examine your finger touching I lightly which you find comforting.

"You don't look fine. Want me to give you a hug?" He says slowly moving into you. If no one has noticed the two of you someone's gonna notice now. You try and push him away giggling at his words, you really don't want your cover blown but chan doesn't seem to care. He doesn't care actually.

"Baby I'm okay" you say a little louder than you expected. You immediately move away from chan and stare at the people now staring at you. If the company hears about this you're screwed.

"I meant chan" you laugh awkwardly.

"It just slipped" you try and assure the people around you. You know they couldn't care less but you'd never know who'd be a snitch.

"I call everyone baby anyways" chan laughs as you try to convince yourself.

It's no use they heard you clearly.

.....

Its been been seven days since your cooking episode with chan and felix aired. And you heard some rumours and theories going around on the Internet.

So you decided to check on the comments yourself.

Chan giving y/n those loving eyes

I want someone to look at me like the way chan's looking at her

If these two aren't dating I'm gonna take y/n

These two gotta be dating look at the way he's looking at her.

I can feel the tension between them

The chemistry between these two.

Kiss already

You didn't realise the tension between you and chan was so obvious. Maybe it's the way you spoke and looked at eachother. And after watching the video for yourself you can definitely see it.

"Our love can't be hidden" chan said when you brought the issue to him. You laughed, he doesn't take this seriously huh?

[kirans-wonderland]

What a Cuddly Croc

If only there was a a certain crocodile fae that I want to give a hug… 🤭

part two here (nsfw)

~~~~~~

First of all congratulations of breaking through Sebek’s barrier enough for him to even consider this. Sebek’s normal behavior is obviously standoffish and rigid. I think he actively avoids being touched. (oml this man is touch starved). Normally, he would just push through the cold cause he has to be tough for master malleus, sticking close to fire once he returned to his dorm. He views this aspect of his fae side as a weakness. 

But if you had somehow infiltrated Sebek’s inner fortress, you’d find him closer than usual at your side as he escorts you to class. As the days grow colder he grows closer. Locking his arm with yours under the guise of “I AM JUST BEING CHIVALROUS”. Eventually daring to hold your hand omg before marriage? Unacceptable. The most shocking of his advances came on the day of first snowfall. 

During a break you were standing in a hallway  when you felt arms wrapping around your waist and a head leaning on your shoulder. A glance to your side revealed a head of green hair like lettuce. “Sebek?” He let out a hum into your shoulder. “Are you alright? Is something wrong?” He picked up his head slightly, resting his chin on your shoulder before muttering something and looking away. “What?” you questioned having not heard him. “It’s cold.” He said again slightly louder than before but still barely above a whisper. You chuckled, putting your hand over his that lay on your torso and the other reaching back to scruffle his hair.  

He did end up explaining how his fae side made it harder for him to regulate his own body temperature making him more susceptible to the temperature around him. That night you arrived at the Diasomnia dorm, blanket in hand, searching for Sebek. Lilia found you first, inquiring as to your business there. Lilia let out a knowing giggle as he answered your query on Sebek's whereabouts.

You found him just as peepaw said in front of the common room's large fireplace. Quickly sitting beside him you wrapped him up in both your blanket and your arms. *shocked croc* “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HUMAN!?” “Shhh Sebs I’m warming you up” He begrudgedly not really he was very happy you just can’t know that returned your embrace, basking in your warmth that made his cold croc heart very happy, but you can’t know that you do

Bonus: Lilia finding you both still together the next morning, Sebek curled around you tightly smiling like a lovesick fool. Lils may or may not have taken a picture

Also imagine your friends shocked faces at seeing a Sebek clinging onto you through the winter.

[hedgehog-moss]

Some plant news! I've been waiting impatiently to see if the stuff I planted last autumn had survived the winter, and it's looking good so far. All my young fruit trees are blooming (quince, cherry, apple, mirabelle)

The persimmon has no blossoms but some microscopic leaves, I hope it grows more vigorous... I only lost one baby chestnut tree, which seems to have been massacred by a very angry animal. A boar having a bad day? I'll have to plant a couple more this autumn and protect them better. I can just use the remains of one of the many types of fences that Pampe has defeated.

My greenhouse now has to wear a blanket in the afternoons so it doesn't get too hot inside. I planted four flowering shrubs around it in November, so their roots will consolidate the new terraces, and I'm happy to say they are all accounted for—these two have already doubled in volume, they seem thrilled to be there:

Whereas these two all but disappeared during the winter, the ground just swallowed them; I wasn't too optimistic but they showed up again last month, with timid new leaves :) (The pics are very zoomed in, the resurrected shrubs are about the size of my fist but I'm proud of them)

Also I found wild redcurrants by the stream last year and I snapped a few small branches and just stuck them in a pot without really believing it would work. Internet said it would work but it seemed impossible. I left the pot outside all winter, never watering it or taking care of it in any way, with these four bare sticks that I sometimes looked at dubiously. It worked!!! They have leaves now! I made new redcurrant plants by sticking branches in dirt, it feels magical. They're my favourite berries too...

(My project for next autumn will be to propagate elderberry cuttings alongside the fence.) And speaking of berries, I got to eat my first aquaponic-grown strawberry today, it was delicious <3 Congratulations to the 42 fish who are hard at work fertilising the plants in the towers. There are many more strawberries in preparation!

I leave the greenhouse doors open all day when it's sunny so there are pollinators busily flying in and out, doing their job. I tried to relocate a few ladybirds to the strawberry towers to eat aphids but without success, I think they left immediately...

My lettuce and tomato plants are doing great, but the courgette plants got decimated by slugs despite my efforts to repel them. I ended up buying some organic antislug product a friend of my mum's recommended. I started new courgette seeds, and I'll wait until they're bigger to transplant them to slug territory.

The little Mexican orange tree is blossoming, and finally making new leaves (the new ones are yellow) after looking worryingly bald for a while this winter. The blossoms really do smell like orange blossoms! I know it's right there in the name but I'm still like oh look at you you talented orange tree, you got the smell of your flowers right on the first try and everything

Congrats to Mascarille who was looking for the greenhouse entrance in the above pic (she always has to walk around it a few times, she's confused by glass walls) and eventually triumphed over adversity.

Oh and I'm still getting fresh peas, in homeopathic quantities. I found that they grow well in the middle of winter so I'll plant a lot more this autumn when the towers aren't full of strawberries and herbs; for now I've started just eating them raw like little green candy.

Last but not least, Louise Michel the new hen has finally learnt how to climb my homemade stairs that lead to the greenhouse! Look at her showing off her new skill, all casually like this problem hasn't stumped her for weeks:

[promptsbytaurie]

dialogue prompts that give off ~chaotic vibes~

!!please credit me if you use any!!

"you idiot. now we're gonna die."

"american cheese. shitty yet addicting. kind of like my exes."

"everything would be a lot easier if you fucking sat still."

"careful. those aren't designed for idiots."

"tssk, tssk. what would jeff goldblum think of this?"

"if you're trying to manipulate me, it's not working."

"i'm about to say 'shut up' and if you respond with a ridiculously flirtatious 'make me' i will slap you."

"i congratulate you. to convince them is no small feat." *pause* "though you do have small feet."

"don't worry. it's not lethal. i think."

"hey, did you fall from heaven when you hurt--fuck."

"no, but i can speak greek. είσαι σκατά." [you are shit.]

"can i? of course. will i? nah bro."

"we're gonna die and your tombstone will be engraved with 'death by dumbassery.'"

"i had a cat once. his name was stewart. i trained him in the fine art of jiu jitsu."

"what do you mean most people don't carry multiple knifes on them at once?? what if there's an attack?? or an urgent need to cut lettuce??"

"i swear to god if you post this on twitter i will steal your kidney."

"ok. fine. maybe i am a dumbass. but you gotta admit i'm a hot dumbass."

"ah, canada." (that's it. that's the prompt)

"is. is that a grenade."

"abso-fucking-lutely not."

"you know, this reminds me of the time i met the president."

"sometimes, your stupid astounds me."

"yeahhhh no. we're not doing that."

"is there actually anything in your skull or is it just dust and dumbass?"

"gordon ramsay is such a mood."

"this would be romantic if you weren't you and i wasn't me."

"most people just send a text, you know."

"goddammit. how many fucking beans did you spill."

"the world could be ending and you'd still find time to livetweet the imminent destruction of reality."

"you look like shit."

"i can kill a man with my bare hands but i can't unscrew this goddamn jar--"

extra challenges:

use all 31 in one work.

write one prompt every day for a month.

use a random number generator and write 500 (or any set number of) words, and only that amount of words.

to add some spice to #3, set a timer!

(reposted to switch to my prompt blog)

[tsyvia48]

Aziraphale is going to be one of the featured queens at an upcoming Drag Queen Story Hour. He’s trying out stage names with Crowley.

“I’m leaning toward Anita Read,” he says thoughtfully.

“Angel, that’s a terrible drag name.”

“But it’s a pun, dear! Isn’t that one of the preferred naming conventions?”

“Yeah, but, it’s not very drag. The puns should be sexy. Like Courtney Act. Ngk. Or, it could be silly like Hedda Lettuce. Maybe you could be Stormy Teacup. Oh! You are a perfect Ioana Tease,” Crowley chuckled. Aziraphale shot him the I am not amused look. He pivoted. “Ok. Maybe use the angel thing. Angel of Small Death. Or Angelique Ecstasy.”

Aziraphale broke into a smile Crowley knew well. The angel was truly pleased. Crowley quietly congratulated himself.

“Oh, I quite like Angelique. Thank you, Crowley. I’ll be Angelique Reads.”

[dreadsuitsamus]

The Love You Gave | Vegeta x Reader |

author's note: just a short lil fluffy fic 🩷

pairing: vegeta x fem!reader

warnings: none, just fluff

Romance.

It's all around as you journey home from the grocery store, the air filled with perfumes and colognes as the couples do their best to impress. Your eyes glance over at just the right time as a man falls to his knee before his partner, and the emphatic wails of unity ring out as you continue stepping by the café.

Wishing out a call of congratulations, you resume the steady pace of your walk home. It's a good thing your paper bag isn't particularly heavy— you only needed a few things to complete tonight's dinner, and thankfully your rumbly tummy didn't convince your hands to pick up the extra snacks you passed on by.

There's a wait at the crosswalk and you're anything but able to resist people watching while the cars speed freely down the road. One pair in particular stands out as the light turns, the hotrod red car's top down exposing all of their horrible singing to the world. And yet they have zero cares for the minds of strangers like you as they belt out a Jonas Brothers tune. Smiling, your signal to cross lights up and you and your gaggle of strangers that piled up at the stop quickly cross the hot pavement.

Your mind wanders to the comments you've heard several times over the years. Your partner isn't much of a romantic, is he? No, absolutely not... But the idea that a man who brings you flowers has any more merit than the man that's waiting for you at home is nonsense.

Could the typical man bringing you flowers die for you and live to tell the tale?

The gentle curvature of your lips upon seeing your lovely little home matches the light in your eye when you see movement by the open window. Vegeta certainly sat there the entire fifteen minutes you were gone, surely cursing himself for not going with you. But someone had to stay at home while the oven is on, and your husband has become much too picky on produce— he still can't live down your teasing from the last time he took your little list to the local shop and returned over an hour later with absolutely pristine offerings.

The dichotomies of his royal upbringing and his feral biology make for a good little laugh sometimes.

Vegeta's halfway down the stone path from the door by the time you are, and though the bag is about as light as air he takes it anyway, tucking it into the crook of his elbow and giving you the chance to step before him and trek into the house. The smells of dinner greet you and Vegeta's already prepped the island with utensils to chop a fresh salad— which he's gearing up to prepare as he fishes the fresh head of lettuce from the grocery bag.

The sounds of his knife hitting the cutting board serve as light ambience in conjunction with the sauce's simmer from the opened oven door as you check on the homemade flatbread pizza you made together. Vegeta isn't much in the kitchen, but those muscles are just as made for kneading dough as they are for punching out his enemies, you think as you fondly recall the way his biceps flexed and his eyebrows furrowed, so deep in concentration his lips pulled into a pout.

"Just about done." You hum softly and close the door back up, turning around to witness your husband wiping his hands free of little bits of lettuce.

"Smells good." He murmurs deeply, muted as ever as he adds the tomatoes and other salad components into the bowl. Tossing it expertly, Vegeta plates your portions while you handle the pizza side of things, the barbecue sauce and chicken sizzling deliciously loud and your watering mouth craves a satisfying bite at the crunchy sound as you slice the pizza.

The homemade pizza sits between your plates, the even rectangular slices a particularly satisfying sight in the midst of your dinner table. The man sitting and calmly allowing you to snap a photo for social media is even more beautiful an image, and the tinge of red dusting his cheekbones when you kiss his temple fails to hide as he munches the first bite of his salad.

He's no bleeding heart romantic, though you'd prefer nothing else than this.

[teddybearsandspaceships]

Notes for another Cleo stream, this one from April Fools. (Cleo has been uploading VODs again \o/ so it will probably be available on Youtube soon! Still available on Twitch here.) Featuring Real Life talk and permit office shenanigans with Grian, Scar, Etho, and Pearl.

Cleo reads out a message congratulating them on the Real Life win only a minute into the stream [making life hard for the mods, who pin a message not to talk about spoilers, as usual ^^]

Cleo´s opinion on if their win is canon: “Why wouldn´t it be real? Why wouldn´t it be?” The test, going by TV series rules: if the special gets mentioned in a later episode it´s canon.

They discovered the allays having coffee at the kitty café that False put there :D

Apparently the group was initially concerned if people would be mad, but they were still making content. The “April Fools” part was just that it was a one-off.

In-game chat: Grian announces the permit office is open. Special opening hours for April 1st! Pearl and Cleo are immediately suspicious and say it sounds like a trap. Joel says that Grian is actually nice to day (but on midnight he turns back into a nightmare.) Cleo is not at all convinced.

About Real Life: ~"the first thing everybody did was wave to each other, and dance, and give hugs, and I think that says a lot"

Pearl apparently had a 0/10 experience at the permit office. The permit office is closed again. nobody is surprised.

After the recording, Scar mentioned that he was told he should get a lap belt too… Scar is not Scar-safe. Cleo is frequently concerned/worried about Scar, which is only appropriate. "I´m not worried he´s gonna hurt himself, I´m worried he´s gonna, just, tear down the fabric of society.” "He´s a special little sausage, and also needs poking with sticks on a regular basis. Like big sticks – not little sticks, massive, massive sticks."

ooh apparently three glass permits are up for grabs! Grian, Scar, Cleo, Etho, and Pearl have a discussion in front of the permit office. Very soon this involves talking about loopholes to the permit office rules, but Grian tells them to stop it, he will just make up more rules. Pearl says she might be an NPC, Cleo says AI is not that advanced. Scar has skins, hats, and plans for him and Skizz has permit enforcers, but no spoilers

They looked at the permit office and the backrooms, listened to some unsettling music, and then started talking about cooking (more specifically Scar started talking about his meat. That he cooked, as Etho was glad to hear him clarify.) Grian thinks Etho would eat grey sludge nutrition paste.

Etho´s daily sandwich: a foot-long baguette, provelone cheese, hungarian salami, lettuce, tomatoes, salt and pepper, balsamic vinegar-based dressing. With dill pickles on the side. Grian calls it the most gourmet sandwich. "The more I learn the more I both admire and get confused.” Etho doesn´t understand the big deal [tbh neither do I? It´s a sandwich.] Scar says it´s because of how mysterious Etho is. Etho considers dramatizing everything part of the job as a youtuber.

"being tortured by Grian is fun, right? Right?" - Cleo

What would be Cleo´s mission if someone had created her? Pearl: to burn things down? Cleo asked if she´s burned down things recently. Etho: "She´s a trap door flipper."

repeated discussions about if Pearl is an AI or not

"you don´t have to be an NPC if you don´t want to, you can break your programming" - killing Cleo, however, would not be unexpected. Pearl has already stabbed her in the heart repeatedly. Not in Real Life! They were together that series. [Is it just me or does Pearl´s “yeeah…” sound a little more hesitant ^^]

Bonus: Cleo contemplates stealing cOW

[enihk-writes]

[needed proximity]

potentially part of a [인권유린상자] series depending on how well this goes, i'll add other characters, i.e. chung myung, tang gunak. yes i will find a way to get a 50+ year old man pregnant.

pairing: baek cheon x afab!reader

summary: two sexually repressed losers get stuck in a box.

content warning: cunnilingus // face sitting (kinda) // hair-grabbing // no use of protection or contraceptives (please don't do this irl) // raw-dogging (is this the right term???) // creampie // slightly messy

word count: 1.73k

author's note: smashed falafel subway six inch in a toasted italian herbs and cheese bread with lettuce, tomato, onion. chipotle southwest and honey mustard sauce with two double choc chip cookies and a cold bottle of 600ml sprite.

[18+ NSFW CONTENT BELOW, MINORS DNI]

═══════════════

so you've gotten yourself trapped in an upright box with the resident pretty boy of your sect you had been seeing for a while.

my congratulations, or my condolences. whichever you prefer.

how you two came to this predicament is none of your concern right now. all your mind could think of was how his chest on your back felt so nice and warm. not to mention how soft it was, surprisingly enough. you unconsciously step back, wanting to feel that soft warmth a little more.

please... don't move so much...

baek cheon pleads, whimpering.

he tried to move away from you, trying his best to think of anything other than your body being so close to his own at that moment. or how his dick had been growing harder with his groin pressed against your bottom. he hoped you were too dense to notice.

unfortunately, the uniform you wore wasn't thick enough to hide his erection resting on your ass.

shouldn't we do something about this?

you finally ask face turned away from him, hiding your embarrassingly excited face. you little pervert.

is that an offer? or a suggestion?

which would you prefer?

he pauses for a moment.

i'll take that as an offer from you.

he leans down, nuzzling against the crook of your neck, hands resting on your hips. he doesn't move — much less breathe or let out a sound, waiting for a green light to do so from you.

what are you stalling for?

please tell me what to do.

he says, he turns you to face him, pushing your back flat on the wall as he falls to his knees at your feet. face resting on your lower tummy and hands ghosting the back of your thighs. his murmuring voice sent shivering vibrations straight to your core.

knowing that your voice would reveal your wonton desires, you run your fingers into his dark locks, grabbing it by the fistful as you push his face downwards — closer to where you wanted him to be.

it was good that he understood quickly. ridding you of your pants and underwear. your knees are lifted, they go over his shoulders and rest on them as his face dives closer to your heated cunt.

you look down to see his nose bumping against your clit, you couldn't see it as well, but his lips move to place feathery kisses over your fluttering hole, dripping in more and more of your slick.

the cause. which was it?

your unrestricted neediness or baek cheon's clumsy expertise? or was it both? it was probably both.

for all his lack of technique, he made up for in eagerness. your every twitch and sigh at his ministrations were his fuel to keep on going and going and going until he felt your thighs shake and close around his head. your hands dig into his hair, nails scratching on his scalp a little harshly as you push his pretty face deeper. his rough hands pin your hips to the walls of your enclosure, it's unpolished surface scratched against your now bare back painfully. the top of your sect uniform had fallen over your shoulders and exposed your binded chest — but even that was slowly loosening, showing more and more of that soft, plush skin.

looking up at you through his half-lidded eyes, baek cheon had to admit this sight of you was utterly sinful. the fact that he was the only one to have the honour of seeing you come undone all over his lips and tongue. he laps at your pulsing entrance, drinking in every drop you released like a parched man in a desert who hasn't seen a sliver of water in years.

the air in the box was getting warmer, the heat gradually growing into a boiling point. the thin sheen of sweat on your skin the evidence.

you felt dazed, all your senses were dulled down to focus on the tightening coil in your abdomen prepping for another release. how many times does this make? four... no, five?

at this rate, you might even pass out before he decides to shove his cock inside.

cheon-ah...

you call out, pushing his face away from your cunt. he had drunken look on his face, his lips a little swollen and his chin wet from how long it had been buried between your legs.

huh?

cheon-ah... in... i want...

you stumbled over your words, feeling embarrassed from having to say things out loud. sure he's eating you out like no tomorrow but asking to fuck you raw was still too bold!

are you asking for this?

he drops you onto his lap, you squealed from the sudden action with your knees still hanging over his shoulders as you folded in half, bare chest pressing on your thighs. baek cheon grinds upwards feeling your wetness get on his clothed crotch.

you gasp at the sensation, still reeling from sensitivity in the aftermath of his ministrations. you feel your legs tremble — if he kept grinding up on you like this...!

he stops.

you whine desperately, bringing your face closer to his, trying to pepper it in kisses just so he'd continue.

you said you wanted it inside.

baek cheon chuckles at your attempts, gingerly lifting your legs off his shoulders to set them back on either side of his hips.

be more patient. let's get you out of these.

his finger tugs at your belt, still tied securely around your waist and holding onto your robes that had fallen off long ago. it unravels quickly, and baek cheon tosses your clothes aside.

you look at him, the gaps in the box you both were in let in enough light to see that he wasn't as much of a mess as you'd thought he would. aside from his missing forehead ribbon and dishevelled hair, everything else in his attire was still in its place.

god, this was so annoying.

his notices that your movements stilled, following your gaze he sees that you've balled your fist on his chest — the fabric of his uniform peaking through your fingers gripping on it tightly.

you want this off?

baek cheon asked, smiling giddily as you nodded. he makes quick work of undressing himself, keeping you occupied as he leans over to kiss you. his mouth on yours felt feverishly hot, the sighs let out in between each time you parted from each other had the hair on your skin stand in anticipation.

his hands rest on your knees, spreading your legs further apart as his lips go from kissing your own down your jaw and on your chin. he drags his teeth down your neck, sending ticklish shivers down your spine. his hands travel up your thighs, slowly, tugging his thumb on your skin. his nibbles on your collarbones and shoulders, humming contentedly as your hands leave long red lines of scratches on his back and arms. you feel him move down to kiss your chest sucking on the flesh enough to leave darker marks on them.

his hands didn't stop even when he reached your hips. he traced his fingers all over your body — pinching, caressing and tugging on the sensitive parts of your skin, or wherever he could reach in this tight space. combine this with all his heated kisses, you felt like you were almost at your limit, and yet you kept holding on because you still hadn't gotten what you wanted.

wrap your legs around me, i'm going to stand up.

he says this with a chaste kiss to your cheek. hooking his arms under your knees, hands supporting your bottom, he lifts you up along with him and doesn't even break a sweat.

you gasp in surprise, and he shushes you with a flurry of pecks. you found yourself gradually relaxing in his arms, his thumb running soothing circles on your skin.

he leans back on the wall, breaking away from the kiss with a thin line of saliva. he rests your forehead on his, catching his breath.

do you still want this?

with a nervous, shaky voice he asks you.

you nod.

really?

you nod again.

if you feel like you don't want to anymore, i can...

cheon-ah, how many times do you want me to say yes?

you giggle at his astounded face, and he soon laughs alongside you. you kiss him, cupping his face, assuring him quietly as he gently brings you down on him.

neither of you have ever done anything like this before, the feeling of him inside you and your warmth enveloping him was so, so foreign. his mind draws a blank, genuinely not knowing what he should do next other than to hold you closer.

cheon-ah... move... please?

he listens to you, as he always did, lifting you up and back down again. his hips bucking up to meet yours, skin slapping against skin, the quiet squelch of his dick covered in your essence pushing and pulling, in and out of your quivering hole. soft gasps and moans filled the space around you, nothing else other than the peak of your highs mattered at that moment.

groaning, baek cheon presses your knees into your chest, pinning you against the wall. this new angle had you seeing stars every time the dull tip of his cock brushed on your sensitive cervix. your clit rubbed against his groin, the hairs covering both your nether regions adding to the friction you felt. your soft, spongy and wet walls clamped down on him so hard that it might as well be you sucking him dry inside.

in a moment of clarity, you feel him twitching. you didn't need any experience to know that he was close, and your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist. heels digging into his lower back as you push him deep into your soaking cunt.

he thrusts upwards a few more times before you felt his cum spilling inside. his voice reduced to incoherent babbles as he mindlessly pressed his lips on your heated skin. he was still not done, his release eventually dripping out of you and onto the floor.

you kiss and play with his hair as you both slowly came down from your highs, you share a bashful smile. hearts still racing from the intensity of the events that just transpired.

that aside, how were you two getting out of this box?

[ngkiscool]

Two birds with one lentil

After a long period of not writing, here is my entry both @flashfictionfridayofficial (muted colours) and @jewsinfandoms (communication).

As always this is a Good Omens fanfiction, this time about Crowley and Aziraphale. Enjoy :)

Aziraphale stared at the table that was laden with a bewildering amount of holiday dishes. Between the lettuce salad with sun dried tomatoes, cheesy stuffed mushrooms, butternut squash with pecan nuts and beet carpaccio, the result was a cacophony of textures and colours.

"Too much, Angel?"

Aziraphale didn't bother to turn around and look at the speaker, he already knew who it was. Who else but his beloved demon would be able to read his body language, and understand his stress? People were usually happy with so many options to choose from, and nobody had reason to believe, other than someone who knew him for millennials, that something was wrong.

"How 'bout you take that lovely stuffed eggplant and some of the vegan cheese burrekas you love so much, I'll bring that wine bottle, and we will find ourselves a quiet corner?"

A few minutes and some well-earned cups later, the angel allowed himself to relax. They sat on a wide bench near the synagogue, and watched the people enjoying the food.

"That was an excellent suggestion," Aziraphale said in what he thought of as a whisper. Being drunk lowered some of his angelic defences, causing his voice to carry clearly around them.

"I am known to have great ideas," answered Crowley, clearly proud of himself, as he snapped his fingers discreetly to create a bubble of silence around them. He had a feeling that Aziraphale was about to get nostalgic, and some memories were just too complicated to explain.

"Sometimes I miss the days when everything was simpler", confessed Aziraphale, confirming Crowley's hunch that this is gonna be one of those times, and he congratulated himself for thinking ahead. "

"We have been over this, Angel, I'm sorry for creating taxes…"

"This is not what I'm talking about," Aziraphale cut Crowley's words short, something he rarely did, and the demon silenced. Whatever was on his mind, must have been important. "Remember Babel?"

Crowley scratched his neck in confusion. "Nice enough weather, nothing to eat but wheat and lentils, clothes a bit itchy. What about it?"

"Lentils!" Aziraphale spoke in a voice loud enough to pass through the silence bubble Crowley made, causing some people to look at them. It's not every day you see someone is that excited about them. "That was good times. Everybody ate the same thing, wore the same clothes, spoke the same language… No room for misunderstandings because of a translation mistake."

Crowley looked at him in confusion. "But if all the people think the same, there will be no diversity! No local knitting patterns, paintings describing special traditions, ballads about everyday life… Do you really want that?"

Aziraphale looked at him in despair. "If that will stop the hatred of today, so yes, the price is well worth it."

"But it won't, Aziraphale, that's the whole point. Who do you think made the Tower of Babel collapse?"

"Well…" Said Aziraphale hesitantly, "I always assumed it was one of your lot. Surely none from my side."

"The humans did it to themselves! Even when they all spoke the same language, they had disagreements among themselves, and that led to the destruction. It was all their work."

"Are you saying humans are doomed? They will always have wars? That is very pessimistic, even for you." Aziraphale looked shattered, as if that conversation was the final straw to break his faith in humanity.

"Not at all, angel. Humans have also a great capacity for caring and love, even if sometimes they forget it."

"Then what are we waiting for? There is work to do!" Aziraphale jumped to his feet, all the sadness gone from his face, and took Crowley's hand. "Will you help me?"

Crowley smiled. "Of course, angel. Anything you want."

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

before falling asleep i asked my angels to help release subconscious blocks in my dreamstate :

The dream started with being back in Canada on the tiny PNW island i used to live. Whenever i dream of it it always looks different & more narrow than how it looked irl but in dreams it's always the same. Went back to my boss at my old job and asked if i could work for her, she was so glad to have me back vs. Many other dreams where she's been upset with me for leaving

She said a witch had cursed her business by talking badly about her to everyone on the island but now that i was there she felt confident enough to face the witch and redeem her reputation. So she took me to a "Healing Spring" in a cave

There were a few people inside, one of them was the witch, she had red hair (dyed), and she was smoking. My boss took off her clothes and had a bikini underneath But i was unprepared so i just got naked. We marched confidently into the spring which was pale green, murky with minerals, steaming

The witch was furious that we didn;t ask her permission to enter, and even moreso at our skimpy attire. She screeched and howled but we just sat there ignoring it. Some children in the spring (wearing wetsuits) remarked that they didn't understand the big deal because bodies are natural

All types of men from my past started showing up to the spring, trying to convince me to get out. It was all men who have used me, sexually objectified me, some of them downright cruel but some of them mostly harmless. They all had varying tactics to try and coax me out of the spring, they would taunt and tease me, say unkind things about my body. The whole time i just sat there unresponsive and smiling because they looked so stupid standing in the spring fully clothed.

Finally after everyone gave up and the witch admitted defeat we felt ready to leave the spring. I got dressed and went outside to wait for my boss who was talking to people & being congratulated. Outside the cave was a japanese arcade game machine. It was called "Lettuce Buddha Rumble" or something

Basically you took a plastic cup that had a little figure in the bottom which looked like a cross between a buddha & a head of lettuce. The machine played various happy hardcore/gabber/hardstyle type songs and you had to shake the cup to a certain rhythm, But not the rhythm you'd expect, it had to be slightly offbeat? If you were able to do this the machine would dispel golden coins which you'd catch in the cup

So i stood there in the forest surrounded by towering tall trees and ferns and moisture playing Lettuce Buddha Rumble, some people began to slowly gather around with their own Lettuce Buddha Cups (some of them customized all fancy), Others just danced doing hardstyle shuffles and whatnot. The song that was playing when i slowly woke up had the lyrics "I Am Alive, I Am Alive I Am Alone" and it took me a good few minutes of awakening to realize none of that was real.

i actually felt pretty sad when the illusions faded out, it was so fun, playing with everyone.. it was only like 5am when i woke up but for a while i couldnt get back to sleep because of the song still playing in my head

Overall the dream had strong themes of water and the color green. So i'm thinking heart chakra, love, emotions. Probly where many of my subconscious blockages lie

[crevicedwelling]

what does beeftongue feel like to touch?

step 1. scrape your tongue dry with your upper teeth

step 2. touch it and pretend it is cold and slightly smoother

congratulations you have simulated leatherleaf texture. does not include the thick, gummy mucus produced when stressed, nor the faint vegetal smell of digested lettuce

[meimeikyu]

if every fruit and every vegetable got in a fight, which side would win, and who would be the last man standing?

GHKSGHKSGHKS OKAY OKAY IM GONNA THINK ABOUT THIS HOLD ON i cant think of every one so we r doing 8v8 that seems like a reasonable number also this is more me killing them myself based off of my opinions. they r fighting bcs im playing with them like dolls :3 *insert a rant about vegetables being a culinary category* okay lets go THE TEAMS

FRUIT - Apple, Orange, Banana, Pear, Blueberry, Grape, Strawberry, Raspberry, Vegetables - Carrot, Onion, Cucumber, Lettuce, Potato, Garlic, Broccoli and Tomato. Tomatoes are yes, biologically fruits they grow like fruits and are fruit so why arent they in fruit? bcs there are TWO types of fruit, biological fruit and culinary fruit. vegetables only have the culinary category, no biological one. so yes tomatos are fruits, they are usually grouped in with vegetables in culinary.

OKAY LETS START

FIRST BLOODS (eliminations)

-Tomatoes | Reason; I fucking hate them -Pears | I don't really think about them much? idk if ive ever eaten one. ive also literally never heard someone go 'oh yeah my fav fruit is a pear!' so idk much about them -Cucumbers | taste like water but. wrong. i like pickles more -Grapes | okok i like them but. very inconsistent quality some very squish some nice and crunchy (the good kind)

OKAY NOW THEY GET PIT AGAINST EACH OTHER BY A RANDOM GENERATOR (im having too much fun with this can u tell)

APPLE V POTATO

two major competitors,,,,, apple is like. the fruit of all time. like i think of fruit and its an apple. but on the other hand potato has so much variety so many things you can do to it and. its so tasty. im gonna have to declare potato the winner

RASPBERRY V BROCCOLI

honestly this ones down to preference i think. and this whole thing is based on MINE so hah! both are good but broccoli texture is not fun for me and. i love raspberry so much. it wins <3

ORANGE V LETTUCE

good fruit versus water leaf. lettuce is good for salad n sandwhich but orange actually tasty by itself so orange wins

BLUEBERRY V GARLIC

garlic.

STRAWBERRY V CARROT

again two MAJOR ones,,,,, carrot is absolutely such a vegetable but i love strawberries so much,,,,,, im gonna give it to carrot for this round though because they do not mold in my fridge this fast!!!!

BANANA V ONION

mmmmm i love onion. so tasty so texture can go in so many things. and i fuckin hate bananas they can go die one of my worst sensory things i hate them so onion win :3

REMAINING COMPETITORS: Potato, Raspberry, Orange, Garlic, Carrot, Onion

uhh i need another competition hold on-

ok so i pulled up one of those treadmill videos where they see what will roll off them last- the first two to roll off will be eliminated (im assigning them the fruits n veggies)

ALRIGHT IM BACK the two killed were carrot (represented by an apple) and onion (represented by onion). may they rest in peace

alright now that we have 4 remaining im gonna. think of something else hold on

okay im making the art fight discord off topic section vote!!

DATA IS IN! we got a whole 2 votes!!! meaning our 2 finalists are Potato and Raspberry!!!! im shocked too that its not garlic,,,, it can win in my heart

THE FINALE

THE TWO GO HEAD TO HEAD IN HAND TO HAND COMBAT, FIGHTING TO THEIR DEATHS. WHO KNOWS WHO WILL MAKE IT OUT ALIVE??? MAYBE THEYLL BOTH DIE RIGHT HERE RIGHT-

WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!

🎉

CONGRATULATIONS POTATO, OUR REIGNING CHAMPION!!!!

this was vv silly thank u for sending me this

[hobbygoblin]

Pssssst hey, this is the website for lesser known adulting hacks right? Yes? Well let me tell you.

You know how when you get lettuce for a meal it goes bad in your fridge in like... 0.2 seconds? I have a secret for you.

Buy heads of lettuce that still have the base. Like romaine hearts (if youre into suffering through the astringent romaine flavor) or green leaf lettuce (if you are a wise soul with good taste) And stick that shit in some water on your counter like cut flowers. It lasts for weeks and stays crisp and fresh and delicious. Depending on what type it is and how old it is, sometimes it will even grow roots and now congratulations! Infinite lettuce!

You're welcome.

Ps. Also works on celery

[buggoblin2]

i put lettuce on my burger today please congratulate me